tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post4184406335793728734..comments2011-12-10T20:42:55.513-08:00kimcoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914056025667076616noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-53447790569459299232011-12-10T20:42:55.513-08:002011-12-10T20:42:55.513-08:00This is going to take the full range of strategies we offer. I highly suggest that you purchase our holiday special and read through all the advice there. It will take courage and you may feel you are doing the wrong thing sometimes but as you start growing stronger you will begin to feel things change. <br /><br />Hang in there!<br /><br />Kim Cooper<br />www.NarcissismCured.comkimcoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914056025667076616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-81840950069629828772011-12-09T10:38:55.604-08:002011-12-09T10:38:55.604-08:00I did like your last advise on the in-laws, but my problem is the gossip starts a week later and then my NPD husband starts repeating the gossip. He always gets nasty. I am very nervous about confronting my NPD mother in law to stop this gossiping because she will over react making matters worst. His family is coming here for the holiday- how do I let them know to stop gossiping about me. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-86042104716352697362011-12-04T12:12:22.081-08:002011-12-04T12:12:22.081-08:00Kim, thank you for putting your experiences with NPD and other info out there. My ex-husband has NPD, and I have been struggling, trying to make it through the past two years of his trying to obliterate me, and the effect that it has had on our children.. You are a lifesaver! Happy Holidays!erikaDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06053168262308342275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-64174200677841463382011-11-28T00:05:58.550-08:002011-11-28T00:05:58.550-08:00Wow this is such amazing stuff - I too have been married a long long time - my husband managed to make me cry on every birthday - I gave up on anniversaries a long time ago and Christmases have been wrecked by the emotional climate.<br />I try now to organise my own Mother&#39;s day celebration - usually go somewhere with the kids and leave hubby right out of it. Same with my birthday go out with friends - get out of the house. it&#39;s therapy to read your insights Kim and to hear of others plights similar to mineAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-31941999812010011222011-11-26T02:05:56.262-08:002011-11-26T02:05:56.262-08:00This was really helpful, Kim, I have done this myself in the past and it works. I have also done it with my children. Instead of going into a situation or place that in the past has become troublesome, tell them immediately beforehand what is expected of them, for example, how they are to behave or what they are to say or not say. They tend respond exactly as you have defined to them. <br /> It also works with my narcissistic husband. By telling him what you will or will not do next time a particular situation arises acts like a boundary to him. He then knows what to expect from you when he acts up. It seems to build trust. <br /> Don&#39;t worry if you fail at your resolve the first few times, just be determined to get it next time round. Also take little steps. Don&#39;t expect to be perfect right away. When I decided to overcome what my husband calls my &#39;psychotic temper tantrums&#39; I did it in stages: instead of &#39;losing it&#39; and screaming and yelling, I got into my car and drove away to cool off. Next step was instead of driving off I walked off down to the creek to cool off. Next I stayed at home but went up the back yard. Next I stayed under the house praying, singing or reading my Bible out loud. That proved to be the last step necessary coz I don&#39;t &#39;lose it any more! Now I work on other undesirable reactions and behaviours.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-89284635249962398002011-11-25T17:06:54.233-08:002011-11-25T17:06:54.233-08:00Thank you for caring about me more than I care about myself! I thought my faith was enough! my 30th anniversary is nov,28th. I am done! I am freaking out I have given all I have!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-2351496112081397582011-11-25T07:47:52.752-08:002011-11-25T07:47:52.752-08:00After 22 years of living with a Narcissistic Husband and dreading every holiday because I knew what was coming from his destructful and demeaning behavior. I was hopeful that this year being away from him would be a positive change for me. I was disheartened that as I was trying so hard to make it better this Thanksgiving, all of those feelings of saddness came pouring back over me. It&#39;s true that living and (hopefully surviving) a relationship with someone like this can have a huge impact on your life. I will definitely be better prepared for Christmas! Thank you for your knowledge and much appreciated wisdom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-4062088609474618932011-11-25T01:05:42.322-08:002011-11-25T01:05:42.322-08:00Hey thanks for such a perfect example! I hope this Thanksgiving was peaceful and enjoyable for everyone.<br /><br />Kim Cooper<br />http://www.NarcissismCured.comkimcoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914056025667076616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-89956400740733121162011-11-25T00:45:23.499-08:002011-11-25T00:45:23.499-08:00My NPD mother in law would turn up and stay for two weeks from before Christmas to right up to New Year, unnvited and completey taking over. She would spend the two weeks being throroughly nasty and rude, particularly to me, treating me like a live in home help, in my own home!<br />About 5 years ago, I made a stand and told her I was going to spend Christmas with my family. She was invited but I knew she wouldn&#39;t like it because she couldn&#39;t throw her weight around. I planned everything instead of &#39;letting it hapen&#39; to me. I&#39;m glad I did, it was the last Christmas when my mum was well enough to enjoy a family get together and it broke the routine. MiL hasn&#39;t spent Christmas with us <br />since! In fact, in making a stand over that holiday, it&#39;s caused a whole shift in her power base. I&#39;m sure it was because I put my brain into gear and thought it through. Plus, not being moved bt her historonics or sulks. <br />Planning and preparing, practically AND emotionally is the key.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2525832101135014045.post-67099994752583232622011-11-24T12:26:49.289-08:002011-11-24T12:26:49.289-08:00Thank you this really helped me this holiday season.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com