A Psychologically Disordered Society

A Brief History of The Cause of Narcissistic Personality Disorder Amongst The Ruling Class 

What I have to share with you today relates to a sideline interest of mine: which is studying the bible from a historical and cosmological (scientific) context.

However please be assured  that the journey I want to take you on is relevant to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, because seeking the historical origins of mankind’s psychological (and also moral) divide is what really drives my interest in this subject.

It doesn’t seem normal or natural to me that we should suffer emotionally the way many of us do. Although a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder may act indifferent and self satisfied, I know that they (and not just the people around them) suffer terribly. The interior loneliness, jealousy and shame of the narcissist’s world is personally not a headspace I would willingly walk into. 
  
I certainly don’t have the whole story yet - and my historical search continues - but recently I feel I am getting a little closer, and that it’s time some of the ideas (I have strung together over the years) start seeing the light of day. 

So to get started on this journey please check out the article by Wal Thorhill (our present day Einstein?) linked to the image here ...

God’s Thunderbolts 

                                       (If you don't have time to read the article this links to, what it is basically saying is that the only thing that could have formed the Grand Canyon is an electrical arc or, in other words, a gigantic lightning bolt.) 

The Electric Universe

There is a new theory in Cosmology you may not have heard of which is getting a lot of attention and you may enjoy taking a look at. This new science gets rid of the big bang - black holes and dark matter because it has no need to find mysterious invisible stuff with mass to fix it's math. This theory has been around for years but has only recently been considered seriously by mainstream science. It is getting this attention because it is predicting the images and data coming back from space telescopes much better than our standard theory does.

It is called the Electric Universe Theory, and besides presenting a whole new model of what powers our sun and how our universe and solar system is held together, it also suggests the history of our solar system to be incredibly different than what is now being taught in school.

Very briefly, some proponents of this theory suggest that in our not so distant past (4 to 13 thousand years ago) earth had a number of very close calls with other planets when our solar system was sent into disarray after it was 'captured' by our current solar system. They suggest our original solar system was a polar configuration whose sun was Saturn -  a brown dwarf star which 'went out' when it entered the electrical field of our current sun


The Fall

The point in history when this cataclysmic event occurred is referred to right through our cultural historical tapestry as creation,  the Fall of Man or even Humpty Dumpty falling off his wall. And likewise the subsequent upheaval in our solar system, as the planets jostled to establish a new equilibrium circling our ‘new’ sun caused The Great Flood as well as the plagues and destruction of the Exodus (including the parting of the Red Sea), ‘Joshua’s long day’ and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to name but a few ancient historical accounts that start making .
literal sense in this contex.

The archeological evidence of a massive global catastrophe, mass extinctions and a great flood in comparatively recent history is, by the way, overwhelming.  

This new version of the solar system’s history also makes the first creation account in the bible make a lot more sense. Previously unexplainable anomalies such as day and night occurring before the creation of the sun, in this model become more easily decipherable, because in this new theory night and day - reflecting our current sun in the polar configuration in our ancestral skies - were in existence before we could actually see our present sun, a bit like you can see the crescent of the moon at night even when the sun is out of sight. This would explain why in Genesis it is said that days before the sun appeared there was evening and there was morning of the first day (the opposite of how we would say it now) as this polar configuration was in fact a kind of clock for humanity reflecting the light of the sun and hence lighting up heading into evening - growing brightest at midnight (when the skies were dark) and then fading again in the late morning.

 The Polar Configuration Acted as a Clock in the Sky 


I know some people may find that these explanations severely challenge their current faith or scientific belief system  - but what I am interested in is if this new theory could in fact render the bible a true and accurate account of the times in which it was written. With all those tallies kept of livestock in the Bible I have always thought that it sounded much more like history than myth. 

Before I had even heard of the Electric Universe theory I could already see that a very different world view must have existed in biblical times for so many people to write accounts that in many instances we largely cannot decipher or comprehend now. I should also perhaps mention that it was the work of Dave Talbott in Symbols of an Alien Sky that first opened up this new way of looking at history along with the work of Anthony Larson.

Anyway, when you check out the picture of the Grand Canyon above, you might begin to see why people in the old testament believed God was an angry God! Just try and imagine the terror that people who survived watching that being carved out by a giant lightning bolt must have experienced!

If you don't have time to read the article associated with that photo - basically it says is that this huge electric arc (lightning) occurred at the time of one of these 'close calls' our earth had with other planets. If you do go ahead and read it you will see that besides a giant lightening strike (unimaginable to us now) there is really no other explanation that comes close to explaining the geological features of what is there at the Grand Canyon (and more importantly what is not there!).

Herodotus in Greek literature made it very clear that lightning was 
very different in his times in this passage;


Seest thou how God with his lightning smites always the bigger animals, 
and will not suffer them to wax insolent, while those of a lesser bulk chafe 
him not? How likewise his bolts fall ever on the highest houses and the 
tallest trees? So plainly does He love to bring down everything that exalts 
itself. Thus ofttimes a mighty host is discomfited by a few men, when God 
in his jealousy sends fear or storm from heaven, and they perish in a way 
unworthy of them. For God allows no one to have high thoughts but Himself.

These terrible cosmic storms Herodotus mentions as common knowledge in his times not only 'discomfited' mighty hosts - but (it would seem) also wrought unimaginable destruction (is the debris removed from the Grand Canyon what is now scattered all over what was once the lush gardens of the Arabian peninsula?) and obviously created quite a number of problems for mankind. 

The first of these problems was that agricultural lands were destroyed (sometimes repeatedly) and mankind who had previously been agricultural, now felt the need to become a livestock breeding and meat eating nomadic society to survive. In the bible we see this theme repeated many times in Genesis, with a younger meat eating shepherding son stealing the birthright from an older son working the land. In the story of Cain and Able this is expressed directly as Cain and the land being “cursed” and not bringing forth crops like it once did. 

As our planet was wrenched from its polar alignment with Saturn and began orbiting our present sun, agricultural conditions must have deteriorated markedly and people might have indeed believed that the agricultural landscape and lifestyle had been cursed by God. 

There was more to this problem that I will share in a moment - but first let me mention a few other problems ...

The terror that people felt and the extreme powerlessness to deal with this type of calamity must have been unimaginable. 

Extreme powerlessness is one of the most untenable human states of mind and the psychological reaction would likely have been mankind feeling a desperate need to appease the terrible god or gods who had wrought this destruction and by doing so, perhaps gain a little power to prevent further destruction.

Worse still in this scenario; the plasma formations in the sky that would have accompanied this destruction - when the worst of these cosmological storms occurred - looked to humanity like giants and monsters and these demons and gods would surely not have been seen to be mollified by sacrifices of lentils or produce. The way these lightning bolts struck down men and animals alike made people easily believe that these horizon spanning and terrifying apparitions who threw lightning bolts down to earth killing and destroying all in their path, wanted nothing short of human lives and blood.

Labour was also needed to rebuild, but people now lived as nomads or if isolated from leadership, as stone age hunter/scavengers. Because in this telling of history, this was the beginning of the stone age after mankind's earlier agricultural golden, or Saturnian, age had been completely destroyed. 

This rebuilding took on mammoth proportions and the many pyramids and huge stone structures that were built were aimed at withstanding future devastation, while also being set up as monuments for the appeasement of the gods - through sacrificial ritual - while at the same time being there to protect the surviving ruling class from similar future calamities. 

In gathering together survivors for this labour, great leadership was needed, with a totally new education (for survival) with new rules. Much of this re education was based on the shift to meat eating and livestock raising and away from farming - as can be seen by the predominance of symbols for these activities in mankind’s earliest popular alphabets which are known as the runes.

Mankind was basically left homeless in a world that had been largely destroyed and so memories of our former world created an outpouring of art, literature and architecture. But still the world and symbols in the sky represented in this outpouring was - in only a few generations - lost and forgotten and the themes represented became known as styles, or considered myths, rather than representing actual memories of a world, or of events that were now completely foreign to what could be seen in the sky or remembered by anyone living.  

Previously to being captured by our solar system there was no mountains, no rain and also no day and night. Saturn our then sun (still called the original and best sun in some historical documents) was stationary at our north pole and lit our planet with a warm glow that caused lush growth and no seasons or any other ways to mark time except for the rotation of stars and perhaps their precession. 

As so much was lost in these few ensuing generations - the runes served as an educational tool for a world which had basically become illiterate - with one letter becoming the symbol for a whole story or school of thought without it even needing to be written down or made into a word. 

Strung together into written words however these symbols were seen as all powerful and able to produce healing and magic, as well as bestowing great power and authority on the person who could use them to write with. 

In the beginning was the word and the word was with God. 

In the face of these challenges it is hardly surprising that leaders were chosen and a tremendous amount of power and authority bestowed upon them. 

More surprising but still understandable - is that in the aftermath of the most terrible destruction imaginable - child and human sacrifice was instituted as both a way of putting to death children that could no longer be fed and also appeasing the ‘gods’. These ‘gods’ had even been seen in the heavens. Watching cosmic plasma displays when the planets had near collisions with earth must have been somewhat like watching full color terrifying 3D cloud patterns 

Cosmic Plasma Display

people unfortunately thought they saw pictures in these displays - of the gods eating their own children.






and so humanity came to believe that child sacrifice was what these terrifying cosmic specters wanted. Nearly all of the religions of these early post apocalyptic times were guilty of these practices and child sacrifice continued unabated until conditions improved (and the terror slowly abated) and other rulers came up with the more practical solution of sacrificing and then roasting animals at times when people needed feeding.

(There is an interesting theory that circumcision was also instituted at this time as a form of appeasement and humbling oneself before God by people who were completely terrified.)

Mankind suddenly becoming carnivorous created something of a problem: we had not been meat eaters or natural killers before this and so a decision that we needed to sacrifice our children and slaughter and eat animals would have gone against all of our earliest basic moral codes. 

The danger of these practices damaging the moral fabric of society must have been something our ancient leaders indeed worried about - as can be evidenced by what then resulted. 

A ruling class of priests was set up to administer the killing (sacrifices) but while they (or sometimes the kings) could kill and while they could order other people to kill, still it was strictly forbidden for ordinary folk to kill. 

With only a little consideration you might see how this same divide in humanity's basic moral code (in regard to killing) still exists between governments and army officials and the general population today.
The responsibility for killing was in reality a harrowing, gruesome and unpleasant task and so the fact that these men were being asked to perform duties outside both conscience and law was dressed up as an 'honor' to make this responsibility more attractive. The kings too, obviously wanted this new class of ‘killers’ kept close to them at all times and not feeling disenfranchised or disenchanted! 

So rather than allowing them to be seen as deviants acting outside the normal and healthy laws of society, these men had this gruesome responsibility foisted on them as something they were entitled to do because they were somehow superior and “above” the law.

So a backstage kind of Santa's workshop (feeding and educating the beholdent masses) known as the mystery schools with a seemingly inseparable alliance between kings and priests, and later kings and their warlords had begun.
  
Of course these leaders often passed off the worst of the dirty work in slaughtering humans and/or animals to slaves or lowly citizens (as today we still see abattoir workers being on a low social rung in society) but this was still strictly under the orders and supervision of this new ruling class. 

Right up to present times the slaughter of animals for meat in some major religions (as with Kosher and Halal abattoirs) is still conducted under the decree of a Rabbi, Priest or Cleric. 

The segregation of those allowed to kill and order killing into a class of their own, who the administrative rulers hoped they might control through privilege and flattery, was an understandable solution to what must have been a truly horrendous problem, but as it unfolded was far from a perfect solution. 

The moral code of (what now had become) the middle classes had - by this move - been protected, but how can you maintain stability and sanity in a society where the ruling classes - who hold more power, wealth and authority than the rest of the community - are free to act outside of the standard moral code?

And it wasn't long until the differences in the moral code of the elite to the masses came to include much more than killing for sacrifice, war or food.  

Consider the prevalence of mistresses (or in biblical terms, concubines) amongst the wealthier classes. This practice has now come to be so prevalent amongst the wealthy that unless major attention is brought to a particular case of it, it is even considered normal behavior - while remaining strictly forbidden and socially unacceptable to the middle and lower classes.

This rent in societies moral fabric resisted all attempts at mending and spread completely out of control. Our new ruling class of killers was by the middle ages completely above the law.

In our times with advertising being an inescapable feature in most people's lives, the middle and lower classes are daily bombarded with images of the affluent life style of the rich, dangled in front of us like diamond carrots. Just as it was in earlier times with street processions, extravagant church and court rituals and society gala marriages and functions, the ruling elite parade their superiority and presumed superior entitlement before the masses.   

And while we find ourselves daily encouraged to seek wealth and power, we may also find ourselves (as part of the whole package) aspiring to high society's degraded moral code of behavior. 

Because if the elite are superior to us - what else can it mean but that their immoral behavior is superior as well? 

While we are given more and more rules we must obey, the bad guys in real life, movies and on TV are romanticized and glorified, because let's face it, it is only us poor dumb lower and middle class people who believe we have to follow the rules.

Think about who society and history considers the greater man; the one who is a farmer or tradesman, faithful to his wife and dedicated to honesty and being a good father -- or the war lord or corporate psychopath with numerous mistresses who, unless smiling for a camera, behaves like a scoundrel and tyrant?
   
So in this version of history I am suggesting this moral divide may have been created in the beginning by ritualistic state sanctified slaughter and that this may still be causing enormous problems for our current society at all levels, but most especially the ruling classes. 

Because I will suggest that this divide puts the ruling and monied classes in a very precarious situation in regard to their mental health and quality of life. 

Because feeling you are superior to the majority of the human race (which you are really a part of) creates a psychological schism that will quickly lead a person to feeling themselves grossly dissatisfied with with their life, martyred, alienated, misunderstood and lonely, while also never certain whether the people around them envy or adore them (I have written much more on the suffering caused by this kind of destructive ‘education’ in my ebook Emotional Stupidity). 


I would not trade places with the ruling elite for anything in the world. 

But despite the internal misery and dysfunction, usually forced upon these unfortunate individuals from birth, the power of these classes to dictate fashion and trends cannot be underestimated. 

As history progressed from post apocalyptic times into an era where our newly formed solar system slowly became stable - the priests, warlords and aristocrats continued prophesying immanent destruction (after all, these cataclysms are what had brought their positions of privilege into being) and if not threatening and terrifying the masses from their pulpits or thrones - their children and close relations wallowed in the ‘immaculate misery‘ of their inherited codependence.

They not only suffered - but made their suffering fashionable, spreading the loneliness, isolation and emotional dysfunction they were experiencing to the rest of society through art, music and literature. One of the first best sellers of the highly dysfunctional ‘romantic’ era was a short novel written by Goethe titled The sorrows of young Werther, which could be very accurately described as a classic case study in terminal codependence. As Goethe matured he became embarrassed about this book - but as it had sold more copies than any of his other works, found it difficult to disown. 

And so this moral disease continued on until present times where we see military and political leaders believing there is nothing amiss in their right to keep secrets ("It’s national security"), lie, steal and make war with other individuals and nations, and if cornered will sometimes even admit that they believe this all necessary because of the stupidity of (or their superiority over) the public. 

If only these leaders could see that in their belief in their own superiority also lies the seeds of their own misery and despair. 

Our society needs practical warnings against moral disease


The Decalogue (10 Commandments) were not given as rules that needed to be obeyed under threat of punishment. They were rules of moral conduct given as one of the greatest gifts to humanity to help protect our moral, spiritual and physical happiness and well being, through incredibly savage times of hardship, trauma and despair.

Sacrifice (not obedience) in these times was what was seen necessary to avert destruction and punishment. Obedience to the Decalogue was considered an act of love and not fear. 

Christ‘s story helped move our world beyond the need for public ritual sacrifice and it must have truly been incredibly good news when the people heard the story that God had sent his own son to be sacrificed so that the sacrifice could end.

We can hardly imagine living in an era of daily public sacrifice of animals and human children. 

Or can we? Because the sacrifice still continues every day right around the world, in abattoirs and on military battlefields. We pretend we live in more enlightened times - but right now there are in fact more people in slavery than any other time in human history.  

So what can we do to heal this schism in the personality of our very society? I believe the Decalogue is a great place to start and needs to be studied for all the depth and truth it can offer us. 


Because a person's true worth or enjoyment in life can never be improved by considering themselves above the moral laws of their society. 

I do not believe this to be about good and evil - but instead about what makes us feel happy, well balanced and satisfied as people, with a life full of meaning and worthy challenges that help us reach our individual potential. 

Just like the Electric Universe Theory has caused dark matter, dark energy and black holes to disappear (because we can now see that they never really existed) I believe this new perspective - if deeply considered and applied to a person's life - could allow those caught in this terrible deception of superiority to take a step out of their own gilded cage of suffering and rejoin the very secure and nurturing place that is our historical (and I believe natural psychological) moral framework.

For secret knowledge, wealth, power, the right to rape, kill, steal, lie or have mistresses does nothing to make a person superior to anyone else -- and the belief that it does is even more damaging to the person who holds it than it is to the people around them.

And for us, the codependent masses? Perhaps we need to stop seeking salvation in a powerful man or woman to protect us from an uncertain future, and instead see our true salvation lying in the humble knowledge of our at-one-ment with all of humanity. Christ was the sacrifice to end all sacrifice, but I believe his main gift was in the example he gave us to follow by eschewing all offers of kingship in exchange for his active belonging to the human family of God and his empathy with humanity as a whole.  

He befriended social outcasts and made companions of anyone the ruling classes despised. How many of our wealthy and ruling class ministers and priests have done that since?

This is not about pointing the finger -- but maybe there is the need for a little shame about what we aspire to and why - and an urgent need for humanities ruling class to step down from their ivory towers of misery and try something that might make them a lot happier. 

With Love 


Kim Cooper
PS. If I get enough comments and interest in this article I might follow it up by telling you why I don’t believe in reptilians (and what I believe the evidence of them really points to) and what this has to do with NPD and the serpent in the story of Genesis. 

Part 2 
    
  




73 comments:

  1. As a Christian, I believe that old sins can be passed on from one generation to another. When one awakens thanks to the Holy Spirit to this vicious cycle, the Lord is ready to help deliver you and your family from this OLD bondage. Man did not have anything to offer God as a proper sacrifice because EVERYTHING belonged to God. But, we can offer to God Jesus' body, blood, soul and Divinity to atone for our sins and for life everlasting. Jn 6:54-59

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    1. I read your article, A Psychologically Disordered Society. It makes sense, and I think this is another book for you. It's a very profound way of thinking about where we came
      from and how, if we pay attention to the creation of our universe and
      our planet, we can better understand the neural pathways we have
      developed through history, thus change our "patterns" and become more
      enlightened in our humanity . You set the wheels in motion, and I
      thank you for that Kim. You touch my soul with your depth.

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  2. Interesting perspective. Much of what you write seems to indicate an ongoing quest for enlightenment to satisfy something missing. Appreciate you sharing your discoveries and thoughts on such issues as they truly are troubling. The negative energy associated with the cumulative effect of troubled and corrupted spirits is now manifesting itself as a cancer in society. The 10 commandments are as basic & essential to harmony in humanity as the constitution is to the United States of America. To live without these fundamental principles is to welcome corruption & destruction. What are we now witnessing worldwide? Thank Jesus we have hope.

    Many Thanks
    Randolph JR

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    1. Yes - I discovered that my search for something missing was the sign I had a narcissistic wound too. I was not looking to fill it through material things but advanced knowledge. I had a gap in my development where I was told growing up that I would do great things and that I was smarter and therefore better than other people - but still I wasn't taught basic life and social skills and suffered from the lack of these everyday.

      I am smarter than some people sure and I think I have done a few great things in my life (all in service to others) but does this make me better? No. My challenge still lies in knowing that I can relate to people and trust the social and life skills that I have chosen to teach myself. Sharing my ideas on this blog is part of that. For many years in my life I kept these ideas to myself as I believed no one else would understand and I would be ridiculed for them - but can you see that was narcissism too? Keeping our ideas to ourselves can feed our belief that we are superior and separate and above the rest of humanity.

      So I am glad that you appreciate my sharing - whether people agree with me or not that appreciation really counts.

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  3. Dear Kim,
    There aren't enough words to explain the utter brilliance of your article! I feel like I fell into a tear in the Universe and got the first view of a groundbreaking insight delivered first hand by you. Astonishing wisdom, insight, and delving into a subject that has been on the lips, books, and lectures of generations in trying to understand the "what makes man tick", as it were. I am eager, and so looking forward to your next sharing on this subject. I dare to say that if this article you wrote and shared here gets into the right hands, it will be explosive in changing how we humans see ourselves and our world today. Does that sound grandious, probably, but it's not. I think you have either fallen into something, or your intention and commitment to get to the real bottom of things has finally opened a long closed door of humanities ignorance. All of us are in this together and we have all in one manner or another lived and felt the effects of the human condition.
    Thank you so very much for having the courage to step out on this new frontier, on what I will call the leading edge of wisdom.

    In our own community here where I live in the United States, right in my near backyard a mere 20 miles away a very famous news story has been unfolding about a malignant narcissistm a psychopath, sociopath , and today they buried his two little boys whom he hacked to death and then set them and himself on fire. He is now the known murderer of his wife 2 years earlier. There was a particular passage in your article that literally jumped out at me. The man in the news is Josh Powell, if you wish to google it. His wife was Susan Powell, his children buried today and the family of Susan Powell have been in the news for two and one half years now. Josh's own father, Stephen Powell is a charged pedophile who sits in jail, and awaits trial. The story is sickening, and as I read the passage of your article much began to make sense in what seems as an insane family tragedy. You said something to the effect of "Appeasing the gods, seeking a wee bit of power by keeping the gods happy", an illusionary god or gods, a son named Josh Powell who was no doubt sexually abused by his father, who in turn, turned to pornography and child pedophilia, who could not stand his wife's happy countenance,extremely jealous of her ease and graciousness, murdered her, and just 4 days ago hacked his children to death, and then took their lives and his own in a intentional house fire. He must have felt utter powerlessness because he believe "the grand lie". The lie issued from his own father upon him, that he was worthless, nothing, and Josh so believed his fathers dictims and never investigated if they merited allegiance at all, but kept honoring the historical family lies, and sacrificing his own true blessings to the lies of his father. As the bible says, 'The sins of the father are visted upon the child". All this sadness, destruction, sorrow issued, because of uninvestigated lies held as supreme truth.
    Kim your article is ground breaking! Utterly, groundbreaking. Please do continue. Do not hide this under a bushel basket, but bring it to the forefront on an international level. It must be. You have helped me see something in my own husbands malignant narcissism, seeking answers for his behaviors that I have never been able to make sense of. "The gods" who must be appeased because a son believes the gods ( his own parents) have the corner market on truth, when in fact they couldn't have been more distant from knowledge of what real Truth was. As you said, Jesus must have felt like a breath of fresh air to a choking smoke where people could not even begin to imagine, nor think of a way out of a daily nightmare that the soul suspected was not the Truth of their being.

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    1. Thanks anon and I am glad you found my writing so inspiring. Josh Powell is actually going to be a minor player in part 2.

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing your own journey...I cannot wait for more. :)I also see the Bible as a fascinating dialogue on science and moral journeys!

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    1. interesting eager to here about the reptillians

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  5. Wow, this is magnificently written. You have made clear a linear perspective I have never considered but seems to make perfect sense and lines up with information I have about the coercive methods used by some regimes to train their soldiers - right up until recent times. Have you ever seen a copy of briderman's chart of coercion? Thanks for the work that has gone into this. I need to read it a couple of times more.

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    1. No I haven't seen that chart before and just had a look and it was very interesting. I think a simpler method that lots of families, churches, institutions and organizations use for control is simply telling members that being part of that group makes them superior to others. I saw this once with my daughters dance school. She hated the school as they were extremely nasty and abusive but still she bawled her eyes out when we said we wanted her to leave - because she had been told so many times that anyone who didn't go there was a no one. Luckily my son had gone there too and left - so he was very helpful in telling her not to worry. Now she is so happy to be out of their control.

      Convincing a person that they are superior to other people is a form of psychological torture IMHO - and there is nothing that makes a person completely miserable faster.

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  6. God bless you Kim! I recently looked at David Talbots research and found that it truly made sense. I was putting all the pieces together and received this email from you before I reached this conclusion. Thank you for putting the pieces together. I have been talking about keeping the laws for years and have been grreatly disturbed by the lack of morailty in the world around me. I struggled with so many narcissists in my life and it has been very difficult. You have given me information to spread and I will do just that. There is a way out of all this mess. We just have a lot of work to do as a people. Thank you for your spiritual fortitude and commitment to life! Much love and respect. Diana Angel

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  7. I'm not Christian, so I'm sorry to have to add a negative sentiment. I have my own thoughts which are much more in line with more conventionally accepted theories, while still acknowledging the valuable historical writings found in the bible. I like your ideas, Kim. I feel you provide wonderful insight into understanding personality disorders in terms being a very much "curable" condition having to do with emotional maturity.

    However, I'm finding myself repeatedly disappointed that I can't link to your articles due to the heavy Christian tones. I understand these are your beliefs, so it's certainly your prerogative to express your ideas in this way. I don't want to question these beliefs, but I do want you to have feedback that it does detract from your ability to attract a wider audience, at least in my case.

    This isn't my stage, so I won't go into my ideas. You are welcome to discuss them with me privately. I feel it would only add to your credibility and the credibility of your ideas to broaden your scope, so perhaps you might find them helpful. You have enabled me to start my own research into emotional development, which I appreciate.

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    1. Hi Sean,

      I think if you read this article again you may find that I am really talking about history and psychology much more than I am talking about Christianity. I am interested in the bible as that is the only ancient text I was taught about growing up - but if you follow the links you will see that I refer to many other texts and a broad range of world views and ideas. The Electric Universe Theory for starters is not a Christian theory. There is also hard evidence the decalogue was not written by the Israelites but in fact the Sumerians. I say hard evidence because a huge stone slab has been found with these 'commandments' on it written in Sumerian!

      What I am doing here is awkward because I am walking a middle line between science and religion that leaves me in danger of being rejected by both sides. So far I have found the religious believers - despite their reputation for being brainwashed or rigid in their beliefs - more open minded and ready to consider new possibilities than my more scientifically minded readers, but I would be happy to be proved wrong!

      In good conscience I cannot accept leaving morality and eye witness accounts out of history, psychology and science as so many scientists do. Myth is a word that science see as basically discrediting most of the evidence we have of our past.

      Likewise I do not accept irrational beliefs such as the world only being a few thousand years old or fossil evidence as being left by the devil to deceive us.

      Science too however is guilty of plenty of irrational ideas that they put across too often as facts. Take neutron stars for starters before even looking closely at how loose the evidence is for so much of what if put forward by science as incontestible.

      Beyond suggesting that I believe the decalogue an incredibly important guide for mankind's psychological well being I really try my best to avoid sharing any of my religious beliefs here. The people who are religious understand this and I know it often frustrates them when they write in wanting to know what I believe (LOL).

      I don't share that part of my life because beliefs are very subjective and only divide people and so mentioning mine can only possibly lead to arguments. Instead I hope that you can view this piece as a string of clues and ideas that it has taken me a long time to uncover.

      If we are to find the truth I think that both science and ancient testimony need to be considered. Theories or evidence that are irrational and have only been put forward to protect the status quo or are based on zero physical evidence or can easily be proven as lies, must be thrown out. New theories must then be developed and tested that explain both the first hand accounts of events and physical evidence that remains.

      To me the EU model comes closer to that than anything I have seen.

      Christians too won't like this new theory because while substantiating much of what is written in the bible, it gives cosmological and scientific explanations for these events rather than the spiritual causes they have used to explain what previously we didn't understand.

      So unless people keep an open mind I am unlikely to keep either side happy.

      But what is more important? Knowing what really happened or proving our existing beliefs right?

      In a similar way there are many people whose marriages would do a lot better if they could accept the reality of what is in front of them instead of risking their whole lives on their faith and belief in a fairy tale!

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    2. Thank you for your response, Kim. I feel that I understood that you feel you were talking about history and psychology. I'm also certain that I didn't make a claim that the Electric Universe Theory was a specifically Christian based theory. I've had my own thoughts as to why narcissism has become prevalent, also along the historical time line that you have, as I've intimated, but I didn't get into my ideas, though they might have better shown that I did understand what you were attempting to express. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but this is your stage, not mine.

      "electricity is present wherever we find plasma, and since 99.999% of the visible universe is in the plasma state, magnetic field and electric currents are nearly everywhere" -> Not specifically incorrect, just used to make arbitrary conclusions henceforth, a non-sequitur. I heard an apt expression along the way: "What does this have to do with the price of fish?" The physics behind electricity can get complicated, so I don't doubt some of this "makes sense" to a lot of people, even if they put a great deal of time into reading about it, perhaps even learning the matrix algebra and differential equations involved, though usually not.

      So, I'm leaving you with what I hope to be healthy criticism. I see an overwhelmingly positive response besides this, so there is no doubt an audience for this kind of material. However, the criticism is that you appear to be embracing fallacious conclusions to support your beliefs, not writing about morality, history, and psychology as you feel you attempted.

      Writing to you about this isn't about taking "sides" or being "open minded". (BTW, this could be taken as a put down of me being narrow minded for not agreeing with you) I'm simply providing feedback on how you are being perceived. You're in charge of your audience by what you publish and how you choose to respond to any praise or criticism. I see you occasionally struggling and working hard to get the word out and be taken more seriously. I want you to do well and I feel you have very important ideas, so it's important for you to have this feedback, though it may feel harsh. So, please, take this in the spirit it was meant.

      I'm letting you know that this reads, to my non-Christian eyes, as heavily Christian using metaphysics to explain physics, leaps in logic, etc. This article was "out there" and not even historically accurate, or at least not acknowledging debate and why you chose one view over another (referencing your herbivore to omnivore claim for one).

      This doesn't change the merit of your great ideas, but it will likely fuel skepticism about them. I'm expressing my great disappointment and that I'm observing a pattern emerging which is like noise on my radio when a radio station just won't come in anymore; at some point I'll change stations or just shut the radio off.

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    3. Hi Sean, Yes I understand where you are coming from and I used to worry about that but then I saw that the sites that are the most popular on the web are often the ones that explore possibilities such as these.

      The heart of codependence is a fear of challenging the status quo in any way and so it also seemed an important part of overcoming my own codependence to stop being scared of expressing my more controversial ideas.

      Take UFO's for example. All UFO stands for is an unidentified flying object. Of course they exist because there are many unidentified flying objects. Yet time and time again people who believe in UFO's are used as apparently clear examples of crack pots or idiots. How can this be when over 60% of the population in the US believe in UFO's (but most are afraid to talk about it)? Does this show that we live in a totalitarian society? Or perhaps a severely codependent one where we limit our own freedom out of fear we will be ridiculed?

      So if you want to take that to mean I believe in aliens or you are codependent so be it - but it is not what I was suggesting.

      As for other theories - I don't know how I could be expected to compare every theory I could have considered in the way you suggest. I never presented this as a balanced scientific article (and how often do you see that anyway - isn't just about everything an op ed story these days?) I am simply sharing a few ideas on subjects that I know do interest a lot of people. I also made it clear at the beginning that this was largely an attempt to understand what I previously had a lot of trouble understanding in the bible. The herbivore to omnivore theory for instance is a view that is taken directly from the bible. I am not suggesting it is true just because it is in the bible but rather making an attempt to understand how the people who wrote the bible might have been seeing things.

      Its great that you can let me know where you disagree and I am more than happy to debate such things as I think it helps explore the subject in more depth. If you feel my ideas are static and you need to shut off -- that of course is your prerogative. I would suggest instead maybe you simply take what interests you here and continue calling me on what you disagree with!

      As for taking my material to a wider audience - yes we have struggled with that - but even after hiring a professional PR person we did not get one interview. After 4 years of the media ignoring us completely I am convinced that they have no interest in presenting anything pro active, scientific, intellectual, practical or otherwise about domestic and emotional abuse. The only time it gets discussed if if a celebrity calls another celebrity a narcissist, the condition is being confused with psychopathy, or a poor family that is already vulnerable is being dissected under the spotlight in a most circus like and unscientific way.

      Science is about exploring theories and if I had never been open to trying out new ideas I would have never overcome the disfunction in my family.

      So take it - leave it - argue with it or put you own theory forward - but I will never again live frightened to suggest things I believe important - just because someone out there might ridicule or discredit me for it.

      I guess that gets right to the heart of our teaching too. Stand up for yourself and your right to be yourself, with respect for yourself and others (and without being emotionally reactive) and I have found most people will respect you in the end.

      So I hope you stick around and keep reading Sean - Steve and I will doing some more short movies on psychology soon.

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    4. I'm not Christian either but this perspective makes sense and certainly is as non-demoninational as denominational -- as Kim pointed out, it is more of a Historical than religious perspective. The EU perspective would certainly explain a great many things, about a great many cultures. If one considers the Pagan religions, many of these religions fit into this world view too. Very nice indeed. I read this to my partner and kids.

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    5. Kim, I agree it’s good to get past fear sharing these controversies. This makes your article much more understandable in terms of having a context. I hope you can also accept the other side of the coin in so doing. I too have had my share of controversial beliefs and ambitions; from time travel to perpetual motion.

      Here's a good one: The temperature in the atmosphere and on the moon are so high that there must be a conspiracy to fake the moon landing and space travel in general. How could an astronaut walk around on a 400F surface for hours, or space ship travel in temperatures above the melting point of metals steering through it? Of course, I picked up on this flawed logic right away, but many people don't understand the difference between temperature and heat transfer, so could be deceived by these otherwise accurate details. Such people can spend their entire adult life campaigning to "expose the truth" when the reality is that they have a basic misunderstanding which allows them to hold onto a belief.

      It's all well and good for you to "not be afraid" by facing a fear of sharing a controversial belief, but I feel you are being defensive of that belief rather than facing the criticism you were obviously going to face. I would suggest you be more open to criticism, though I'm sure you feel you have been, and not suggest it's *me* "not being open". (seems to be confusion which side of the street we're on ;) Perhaps the disappointment should be the lack of polite criticism and overwhelming pats on the back.

      As for more rigorously analyzing ideas which we can spend many years of wasted time believing, I strongly suggest you do an internet search for a "list of common fallacies" and always look for sources both for and against. You might have links at the ready, for instance, to post in response to basic critique, such as why you feel EU "is ... recently being considered seriously by mainstream science". When I tested this statement, since there seemed to be "an appeal to ignorance" fallacy regarding electricity, it was clear that little was being said to address this potential ignorance. I found nothing on my own to support this assertion.

      Humans don't do well on vegetarian diets in a physiological sense and speciation occurs too slowly for there to be any meaningful dietary adaptation in the past 20,000 years. Humans aren't adapted well to eat grain, dairy, and legumes among other now common foods. I was introduced to this idea since I'm allergic to these foods, which so many go through life ignorant of their suffering and die young (heart disease, diabetes, cancer, all in my family and from these foods). Humans adaptated to an increase in calories from animal fats, which are our primary source of A, D, E, among other vitamins and nutrients (Beta Carotene is not Vitamin A), giving us a larger brain and smaller digestive organs. Reading the bible, you'd think bread was a staple for Human nutrition when that is far from the truth.

      Nothing can be trusted absolutely, even the bible. Errors can be introduced by translation, an agenda forgotten, etc. Yes, even the bible can have mistakes, or possibly even lies, or even duplicating stories from other cultures giving apparent credence to otherwise incorrect understandings. The book "Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn explores this "mysterious culture" you mention; and his follow up "The Story of B". Interestingly, the stories of the Old Testament tracing back to "the beginning" happen to be the same time frame when agriculture/civilization began. Quinn posits that the bible represents cultural indoctrination purposely seeking to get people to "forget" their "wild" past and that Abel was a metaphore for that mysterious culture being conquered.

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    6. Why demonize the wild and play as if nothing existed previous to the story in the bible? Take this quote from Benjamin Franklin, something not so different that would be the situation early in the "history" of civilization: "When an Indian Child has been brought up among us, taught our language and habituated to our Customs, yet if he goes to see his relations and make one Indian Ramble with them, there is no perswading him ever to return, and that this is not natural to them merely as Indians, but as men, is plain from this, that when white persons of either sex have been taken prisoners young by the Indians, and lived a while among them, tho' ransomed by their Friends, and treated with all imaginable tenderness to prevail with them to stay among the English, yet in a Short time they become disgusted with our manner of life, and the care and pains that are necessary to support it, and take the first good Opportunity of escaping again into the Woods, from whence there is no reclaiming them."

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    7. Your quotes about the American indians are very interesting and one of my personal favorite tools for grounding myself is native American flute music. The story of creation in the bible was certainly not the origins of mankind as similar accounts were witnessed all around the world. How could so many people have witnessed that same story if, as related in Genesis - humans hadn't been created yet? The story of creation in Genesis is accepted by most scholars as in fact being two different stories. The creation story and then the story of Adam and Eve.

      I understand what you are saying about meat eating. If you consider Wal Thornhill version of the possible history of our universe however you will see that in considering it you might also contemplate the idea that our atmosphere and magnetic field would have been totally different when earth was a satellite of Saturn and that the nutritional value of the food grown may have been totally different.

      The bible and other ancient texts speak a lot about giants too. If it is the earths magnetic field that causes our gravity (rather than the earth's mass) this too would be likely to have changed. Just as most things seemed to have been bigger in the past - men may have been much bigger too. Earths gravity changing may have also had much to do with them dying out.

      If you know anything about the American Indian's moral code I would be very grateful if you would share!

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    8. Yes, the "moral code" of most, if not all, indigenous communities around the world have some striking similarities in comparison to "civilized" religious thinking. Start with "Ishmael" as noted above.

      The big thing to understand about any "wild" culture is that they invariably have "oral traditions", as in they don't have written languages. For this aspect, check out "The Spell of the Sensuous" by David Abram, one of my favorite books. It's also important to note that they see themselves as a part of a dynamic and living community which isn't limited to humans. The thought of land "ownership" is nonsensical to them and might not even be expressible in their languages, among other things. The book "No Word for Time" by Evan Pritchard, best describes this dynamic and how civilized culture tends to erroneously understand Native American stories. Translating their "creation myths" as similar to biblical stories would be a gross misunderstanding of the purpose and meaning of these stories. By their nature, you can see what you want to see and think they are repeating what you might glean from the bible, but they do not repeat the same creation story. To do so, you would be imposing your culture and language which loses the meaning their stories to that of your own.

      Native American "morals" came from their stories, much like we have books. Their entire language equates to the dynamics and relationships happening all around them, so a story might have potentially endless meaning similar to how we interpret poems, music, and other art. Understanding would mean participation in their local ecology and community. Even their language varied from young to old, so stories told to a young child would take on subtle new meanings as they grew older. The language of an elder might not even be entirely understandable by younger members of the tribe, so stories and meaning into infinity. It would depend upon the context in which it was told and potentially with subtle variation. It could even be told in a manner to speak multiple stories at once, depending upon the context of each listener.

      When up to 97% of the Native American population died from European disease (see the book "1491" by Charles Mann), the 100's of cultures and moral codes where almost completely wiped out. Consequently, "moral codes" and stories tend to be speculation in the first place. However, it's basis was clear in terms of originating with their connection to a specific land base. They didn't have much of what we call "morals" since things like rape and other violent crimes were unknown to them. It's easy to paint them as "noble savages", though that isn't so either. It's just different and tapping from our cultural baggage to understand them just doesn't work.

      There is a reason otherwise "civilized" folk never return once accepted into their cultures, though "primitive" in comparison to our own, even today. Be careful that you aren't seeing what you want to see.

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    9. I'm adding another book I just remembered to the reading list I've started here: "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff. She explores the curiosity that she observed when transitioning between a primitive culture she was studying and when she returned to big city life. There are numerous authors noting similar experiences, including another David Abram book, "Becoming Animal". See also "Other Ways Of Knowing" by John Broomfield, and most especially "My Name Is Chellis" by Chellis Glendinning, a psychologist exploring the very same path as yourself, except in terms of PTSD induced by living away from our connections with nature.

      One could say that civilized humans are devolving into immaturity due to the break down in their evolved cultural context. If narcissism is a stage of development, and we develop emotionally through stable adult attachments, then it follows that a break down in family structure induced by the political and economic realities of living in hierarchical society would induce an increased prevalence of personality disorders, including narcissism. As you'll see in the book "Ishmael" the Adam and Eve story can also be seen as symbolic of humanity's emergence from the wild and women were made to be subordinate to men and now have to "toil" to eat.

      Fossil remains recording this transition show very clearly that humans were taller, stronger, lived much longer, and otherwise far more healthy than those who "toiled in the fields". Humans are only now regaining some of these attributes of height and age, if not the health and strength. "Giants" would very likely represent a culture which had not yet been indoctrinated, hence the reason for conquest (David and Goliath). The "creation" in the bible simply refers to the origins of agriculture.

      Yet another book: "The Third Chimp" by Jared Diamond. This book helps blur the distinction between humans and non-humans, as the stories of civilization have us believing "we" are somehow separate from the "wild". The very language roots of cities and citizen means loosely, "we who have been indoctrinated." The language roots of barbarian being "those wild people who haven't been indoctrinated." The bible teaches indoctrination, or putting your blinders up to not understand. In so doing, we slowly go insane as we disconnect ourselves from nature. Even our brain size has been shrinking, as always happens with domestication. We are turning ourselves into mad cows following psychopaths and electing the narcissists controlled by them. (see the recent film Fishhead http://www.fisheadmovie.com/watch-the-movie )

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    10. An example in American politics, said by Santorum, which would horrify indigenous moral code: “*We were put on this Earth* as creatures of God *to have dominion over the Earth*, to use it wisely and steward it wisely, but *for our benefit not for the Earth’s benefit*. You may consider that an article of faith, I consider it an article of reason. We are the intelligent beings that know how to manage things and through the course of science and discovery if we can be better stewards of this environment, then we should not let the vagaries of nature destroy what we have helped create.”

      Native Americans, as well as indigenous groups which once existed all over the world, believe the inverse, that we belong to Earth and that we have no right to deny our sibling species habitat any more than they have a right to deny us our existence. We live together, or in isolation we will surely meet our demise. With nature, we can live off her fruits without toil. This is why the creation myths seem to come from some mysterious sources, as the bible attempts to corrupt them to create a new story where we act as if we've eaten from the tree of knowledge when really we have chosen ignorance that others exist, have sentience, feelings, rights, and all manner of belonging in the tree of life *with us*. Civilization is a narcissistic culture.

      EU is yet another attempt at denying reality, in my opinion. I feel that justifying biblical stories like this can only result in mad science and can only make sense when you don't have the understanding to see it for what it is and want this mad science to be true. I understand you feel differently, so I thank you for hearing me out. You grew up only knowing this story, so of course what I say might not make sense to you. If you truly explore indigenous thinking, even and especially your own in Australia, you'll only find *other* life exists which you were previously unaware by design of the ultimate of narcissistic texts.

      Because I presume you'll respond from your beliefs having them challenged, let me just say that the beauty of some of the stories about Christ are very much non-narcissistic ideas trying to wedge their way in, albeit unsuccessfully in the end. For sure there are valid ideas to find, but you will only find them with an awareness of it's ultimate purpose to pervert these ideas back into narcissistic attitudes where Humanity gets to choose good and evil. It is arrogance and folly to think we somehow know better than nature herself.

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    11. Hi Sean,

      Thanks for sharing more. I am not challenged by any of what you say. I actually agree with most of it's sentiment but also wonder if maybe there are other explanations?

      What I mean is that it is always easy to look at history and see one race or people innocent victims and another the perpetrator. I am really not trying to defend what white man has done, because honestly I think I abhor that as much as you do - but just as I have tried to deconstruct the concepts of narcissism and codependence with understanding rather than blame I think understanding is a more productive path to follow no matter how challenging. Backing up just a little I will share that I was raised by a mother who voted democrat - was a feminist and had many alternative and hippy friends. Her roots however were English Anglican or what my father would have called Catholicized protestants! From that you might guess that my father was a fundamental protestant and voted Republican. How they ever got married is a longer story than I care to relate here but had plenty to do with each projecting what they wanted into a partner onto each other rather than knowing each other very well. I love my mother and love and respect my fathers memory. Reconciling so many different belief systems that I was raised with as I grew older was a real challenge. They never accomplished that reconcilliation and so I guess I took it on as my task.

      I must have had some success because just the other day I thought about how lucky I feel that I find so much to love about all the different religions and ideologies that I know about. That includes Catholics and Jews BTW as well as Eastern Traditions, including such varied beliefs as Muslim, Hindu and Greek Orthodox traditions and political ideologies too.

      Rather than make me a great person instead this however leaves me socially at somewhat of a handicap as the understanding I now possess to many people just makes me the worst kind of wishy washy and I know can make people very mad.

      I am not saying this is where you are at BTW Sean and excuse me that for a moment there I was just talking about myself!

      What that all is leading to is that in EU theory I found something tremendous and that was a way to perhaps look at history with less blame and more understanding.

      I could not find a good link right now but if you search for plasma man in rock art you will find a study that was done which shows without doubt that numerous rock art pictures from around the globe were of the same plasma discharge event in the sky. Computer analysis shows that the perspective from different continents is even correct to represent a position for this cosmic event.

      I am not wanting to prove the bible correct in my article here. What I would really like to do is prove all of the ancient texts and oral traditions true and regain or true history that empire war and plunder has stolen from us.

      That men (and women) have been narcissistic, bloodthirsty and greedy and continue to be today - yes that is a fact - but my question is why? Just as I did not accept this was normal and natural behavior in my husband - no matter how self serving it seemed - I cannot accept that narcissism is normal or natural and in my delving into this full time for about 5 years now - I have found it always caused by trauma.

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    12. I agree with you about maturity being a key here and the level of maturity in an individual will have a lot to do with how they react to trauma. If you subject one person to severe trauma they will become violent and fight you. Another will become manipulative and yet another will run away and hide.

      This is the enigma with human beings and why I love the study of psychology. We cannot be reduced to hard data or mathematical equations because in us is spirit, heart and soul.

      Is modern society a mess? Yes - But pointing blame at each other won't fix it any better than people pointing fingers at each other when their marriage starts showing strain.

      I believe you are 100% correct that the indigenous cultures have so much to offer us in reconnecting with nature. They are not perfect however as my indigenous Australian friend's tell me. There are traditions of jealousy in native Australian culture that date back before white settlement that still plague native Australian's today.

      So does all this questing for what is missing a sign that something is missing in my life? Yes, I think Randolph who commented earlier is right. What was missing for me to begin with was peace in my home, partly because my parents believed such different things. The moral commandments of the decalogue did help me with this however and by respecting both my father and mother I came eventually to a place of calm with that and having learned to reconcile different viewpoints I believe also helped me heal the dysfunction in my home. Now I guess I would like to see more of the same peace in my larger home which is my community - which because of my work is now global. Do I have all the answers? No - not even close - but I will continue to fight tirelessly to spread the knowledge and skill of balancing emotion and intellect in a way that helps allow people to relate their different ideas and come to understanding without conflict.

      If a person doesn't agree with me - that is okay and I am happy to hear why. If people are aggressive or disrespectful and accuse me of being a bad person because I don't agree with them or because I believe something different - I will try and practice what I preach and find a way to end the conversation and avoid being drawn into a fight. That is a skill it took me sometime to learn and still I am not a master at it but it does work. I have teenage kids now and I have seen this really means a lot to them feeling secure with us.

      Okay I better get my day started - thanks again for sharing Sean and I very much hope that you stick around!

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  8. Great article - keep it coming!

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  9. Wow Kim....Having spent the last 20 years untangling my life In the Mormon Church. I was born and raised in what was called a Generational Fertility Cult or Witchcraft. The church was the front and the Bishop was the leader of the Church and the cult....Just another side of this amazing God/Man Theory!...My sis and I are writing a book that has turned into a Trilogy which has led us down an amazing Trail of Tears....and Enlightenment....Definitely....His Story is not as it seems. Thanks for your thoughts!

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    1. You would probably enjoy exploring Anthony Larson's interpretation of Mormonism. He is not frightened of allowing the new science of the EU to expand how the and also the Book of Mormon might be better understood and interpreted in this new light.

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    2. As a Mormon, I must refudiate the comparison of my church to a cult or witchcraft. We avoid such things completely and they are the opposite of our beliefs. Bishops are not leaders of the Mormon church. They are local leaders, and unfortunately a few may have gone astray but this is relatively rare. The truth about the Mormons is at Mormon.org.

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  10. Please continue to share. Thank you.

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  11. I am interested in this theory. It does seem to make sense. I also fear for my life as my partner cannot stand my happy demeanor and tries at every turn to make me as miserable as he. He is no longer yelling at me and so I wait for him to either kill me or to leave me for someone else whom he can show his "truth" to. Even through a lot of study and readying, I cannot answer the questions about his attitude of superiority, while at the same time depression descends on him like a bag of cement. It truely baffles me, and I'm left to think that I just don't have the intelligence to fathom someone of this "greatness". Your article gives me something else to contemplate.

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    1. Please get a copy of Back from the Looking Glass today and start following the steps. It will give you information how to contact the authorities in a way that you will be most likely to get their help. A person feeling superior makes them depressed and so there is nothing strange to contemplate. What you need to do instead is value and protect yourself in a way that causes the least conflict.

      We have spent years developing this short book as a guide to help people right where you are now. Don't order a hard copy as that will take you too long to get it. Get the download version and start reading it now!

      You will find the link to purchase it under our the picture of Steve and I in the right hand column as you scroll up this page.

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  12. Scientifically you are touching on some of the understanding that Tesla had. He boldly stated that Einstein was wrong in his "universal theory" basis.
    It is a beautiful thing you have done in connecting the history of man with our psychological state. We can even see some of this within our lifetimes and that of our parents with world wars and how people both glorify war at the same time being disparaged in it.
    You are now going well beyond where you once were, your mind is free to explore because you are free from the bondage. This is the path to enlightenment. The great masters never asked someone else to do it for them. Notice how many great religions today have us in a "dependent" state on someone else. As long as we think we are limited in this way we are limited.

    Keep going, this is the thinking that will bring religion and science together in the end.
    We must understand ourselves first in order to break our limitations.

    Thank you for all you do.

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    1. Hello, Kim!
      I have been reading and contemplating on your thoughts about practical way out of abuse, self-abuse and creating healthy relationship for more than 2 years. I learned a lot from your wisdom and life experience. Also your ability to create friendly atmosphere in your blogs, along with yours and Steve’s radio shows confirms the practical application of what you teach. You are brave and willing to help others who struggled with issues your family once had. It shows your dedication to be a light. Your link between science and Biblical truths was a new twist and a brave step. Bravo!
      I always wondered if this wisdom came purely from education about the issues or it is guidance of Holy Spirit. Your reference of the Bible and your research-style reading give me some answers to my question.
      Kim, I want to encourage you, if you are true believer in the redemptive power of Jesus’s blood,
      He will not let you down if you give Him the credit for wisdom you gained. Reading responses from bloggers helped me see how many hurting people are thirsty for Living Water.
      Also, knowing scientists, astronomers, who are Christians, may broaden your perspective on the issue of the Universe.
      Please, check out this web: www.reasons.org
      Nelli W

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    2. Thanks! - and yes I have found Teslas ideas very interesting - he is relevant to this discussion too as he had a fight started with him by an narcissistic bully (JP Morgan) that was purely about controlling resources (what NPD people love best!) that he didn't win!

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  13. Hello, Kim!
    I have been reading and contemplating on your thoughts about practical way out of abuse, self-abuse and creating healthy relationship for more than 2 years. I learned a lot from your wisdom and life experience. Also your ability to create friendly atmosphere in your blogs, along with yours and Steve’s radio shows confirms the practical application of what you teach. You are brave and willing to help others who struggled with issues your family once had. It shows your dedication to be a light. Your link between science and Biblical truths was a new twist and a brave step. Bravo!
    I always wondered if this wisdom came purely from education about the issues or it is guidance of Holy Spirit. Your reference of the Bible and your research-style reading give me some answers to my question.
    Kim, I want to encourage you, if you are true believer in the redemptive power of Jesus’s blood,
    He will not let you down if you give Him the credit for wisdom you gained. Reading responses from bloggers helped me see how many hurting people are thirsty for Living Water.
    Also, knowing scientists, astronomers, who are Christians, may broaden your perspective on the issue of the Universe.
    Please, check out this web: www.reasons.org
    Nelli W

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  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  15. Kim, the one thing that struck me after reading this article is comments I have heard from women who have had relationships with narcissistic men. The men have said to these smart, moral women, "You are lucky to be with me." The men actually believe they are superior to the women. The women ended the relationships after discovering infidelity, lies, enduring disrespect, etc. The women were morally superior to the men. But the men saw themselves as superior due to financial strength and power career positions. Your article is very enlightening and thought provoking. Thanks for writing it and getting this discussion going. There does seem to be a definite divide about the true meaning of "Superior" in our society.
    I believe our Souls are of equal value and worth and our behavior on this earth plane determines our "value" to society (our contribution, whether we work for good).
    I also believe we can be powerful, wealthy and good. It is determined by our level of awareness. Powerful people with high self-awareness and high enlightenment act with respect and good intentions toward others. Powerful people with low self-awareness and low level of enlightenment act with selfish motives that can hurt others.
    The same goes for "regular" people. It all comes down to self-awareness and enlightenment. We ALL will benefit by focusing on these two areas.

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    1. Yes I agree and also I hope it was clear in this article I believe that powerful people who put themselves above others hurt themselves more than they realize.

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    2. Yes, you did. What I have seen, at least in the men I mentioned, is that their self-awareness level was such that they did NOT realize they were hurting themselves. They actually believe their own lies and believe they are justified in taking what they want and think they deserve. That is the sad part: that today, with all the help available, that they Choose to remain unaware. Is it bc they don't want to change? To grow morally and become self-aware means to change. The change is for the better, but it will mean respecting others, not taking what you are not entitled to, sharing what you have, seeing others as your equal, etc. Is the Power Trip such a ride that they don't want to get off of it? Or are they afraid that if they get off the Power ride, that they'll be "just like everybody else" and that is more scary than staying on the ride of illusion? I wonder if some people just can't handle the thought of being "like everybody else", of not being special in society's eyes. They don't understand we are all special as souls on our journey. This lack of understanding and relationship to the soul leaves them empty and they try to fill that emptiness with power over others.

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement David - I am really looking forward to finding the time to write the next one!

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  17. Hi Kim,
    Yet another intriguing article from an amazing woman/couple who has opened up many interpersonal truths for so many. It can be very confusing trying to unravel the mess many find themselves in, including myself. Your work has helped. I believe deep down we all want to see the light of truth shine no matter what. Mature/Fearless Adults will accept the truth no matter how they were indoctrinated and embrace our spectacular reality on the planet.

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    1. Yes well said - I believe totally that it is about maturity!

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  18. I love reading things that expand knowledge and add new possibilities. Looking forward to your next article.

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    1. I agree - Steve and I call it exploring the great mystery of it all and we could not live without it. I believe anyone who truly believes they know it all must feel so frustrated and dead inside. I know because that was me once! Now I am always so thankful that this universe we live in is so amazing I know now 'the mystery' will never end!

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  19. Wow!! Thanks so much for shedding light on a subject that my husband and I have discusse in the past. It really helps me to understand our human culture alot better. A few years ago I had come upon your information after a incendent when my husband was really violent. I purchased all your material and have always hungered for more information from you. Through practicing all the things I have learned our marriage has turned around. It is still a work in progress but I am making adjustments as I learn.
    My husband has a very good friend that he has turned to for counsel. He is a clergyman and very well respected in community. The only thing that has come up is that he has trouble reconciling the military service. He is retired Navy man, who is very angry about the fact that the government sends men to war and tells them it is OK to kill. Then they have to live with the aftermath. His friend still supports the military and the killing. We both are bewildered by the way men are raised to be soldiers and stuff their emotions. Until now was not aware of the history of all of this. I am looking forward on doing more research on this. Also looking forward to the day when we have evolved to the point when war is not necessary!! Thanks again for all the work you do.

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    1. You and your husband should search for Chalmers Johnston on YouTube. The military is an incredibly dysfunctional institution with extreme narcissism and codependence present and Chalmers Johnston unravels the horror of it better than anyone else I have seen!

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  20. Hi Kim, this is a great article. I find the subject utterly fascinating (the origins of the Universe, that is) but it has never occured to me that our solar system could actually be "younger" than the rest. Linking our history as mankind to some of the psychological problems we experience today makes so much sense to me, too. I can't wait to find out what you think of reptilians!

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  21. I agree that this is ground-breaking! I see you also are familiar with the reptilian theory, which my son believes. He is 19 and schizophrenic (highly functioning, but still carries the reptilian delusion) . I need some serious material to challenge him on this. I'll be reading your posts continually and thank you for sharing your God-given gifts with us. May he bless you and your loved ones with His love always.

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    1. Yes I am looking forward to it too and hope it helps. I have seen hands on body work and vitamin B3 therapy do very good things for people with schizophrenia.

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    2. Narcissistic people maybe Celiac....not eating gluten/dairy/soy/sugar and taking vitamins/good oils and LDN. Schizophrenics maybe high in copper on a hair test and need zinc. Stephanie Marohn has a book called Schizophrenia. Tests to diagnose it may not work and doctors may not be trained in it.

      I don't understand the above article. I was a science teacher/Christian. Everyone has their theory about life. to me you either have God or the opposite or mixture in us. I cast the devil out of people in Jesus' name. Letting go and Letting God works better than trying to be our own god...like Adam and Eve did. Jesus was God walking on this earth... reconnects us to God. I don't have problems with the Bible.

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  22. Hi, thanks for sharing. Generally I get a lot from your work and I'm grateful for much of the practical, down to earth information and tips about your direct experience and experiences helping others deal with N in their daily life.

    In terms of this article and others like it..there are so many positive, glowing comments here that I'm sure it's nice to hear, but to add some balance (and because to be honest these comments are bordering on ego-stroking!) and to give another perspective I must say that on the whole I agree with Sean. I think Sean was very clear and well rounded and fair in his assessment of what you were saying, and in putting forward a slightly different view and in making constructive criticism, but as I often find, when people disagree with you Kim or say something you believe doesn't work or sit well for them they either get a barrage of reasons why you are right, or you imply (or say) they are close-minded, aren't trying, etc. I'm sure that's not always the case (I haven't read every entry) bit it's my general impression. Surely with all the glowing comments there is room in your world for some constructive criticism (which in my view was certainly what Sean was providing). I too have made constructive comments and never felt like you truly considered them, rather were writing me off as 'close-minded' or similar in order to be able to invalidate my views.

    If you're going to cover topics as controversial as this I think it's fair to assume you aren't going to get everyone agreeing with you and if someone goes to the trouble of disagreeing (nicely and reasonably) it would be encouraging for you to go, okay, maybe you have a point, thanks.

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  23. Hi anon -

    I am sorry that you feel that way. I find debating subjects of interest a valuable exercise if people are considerate and respectful. If you have found that I haven't been respectful or given your ideas due consideration I am sorry to hear it.

    Whether people stroke my ego or agree with me or not is not really the issue for me. If I think someone truly has a point worth considering (as the comment by Randolph JR about my quest indicating I felt something missing in my life) I do believe I take it on and consider it. That comment of his felt like a little bit of a jab to me at first but then I thought about it and wondered why I felt that way and that it must be because there was some truth in it. That opened up some very productive soul searching for me which I then got back and shared with him.

    I also feel that I have done my best to respond to Sean and take his concerns and criticisms seriously. I did NOT feel he was being antagonistic or rude at all and If you read my initial response I think you might see that in it I was challenging him perhaps to be a little more open minded - rather than accusing him of being closed minded - and yes I do think there is a big difference!

    Suggesting someone be a bit more open minded (or instead I could say flexible) is not saying I am right and the other person wrong - it is just saying maybe you need to allow people to explore new ideas that differ from your own without that being something you need to get worried about.

    Controversial subjects are all about debate and I do question your suggestion that it would be better for me to simply say - Okay yes sorry you have a point - just because someone disagrees with me - even if I don't agree with them?

    I AM sorry however if you haven't felt heard here in the past - but I would make a suggestion to you - that in general opening a dialogue with someone by questioning their character hardly ever leads to anything productive in my experience.

    It is the exact kind of dialogue we teach people to drop from their repertoire!

    So if you feel I haven't heard you or responded appropriately I would suggest that instead of questioning my character - that perhaps instead you talk about what it was you wanted to say that you would like me to give further consideration to?

    Because if the point you want to make is that I am a bad person for standing my ground when challenged on things I believe in - I am sorry but you will not get me to agree to that!

    Most people are here to learn the techniques we offer and so I hope you can accept my suggestion in that light.

    Do I think I know something about this subject (communication styles for better relating) worth teaching? Yes I do and that is why this blog exists so I hope you might take my suggestions with the goodwill intended and that you won't take my suggestions as putting myself above you.

    If you are not here to learn the techniques and skills we offer this site may not be right for you.

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  24. Hi Kim what an amazing theory. I also was researching how this happen to so many people. My theory came most recent. For years I would say my husband is SATAN in the flesh, then it hit me as I continued in my prayer life and said Lord please tell me what is wrong, I am not crazy. Yes it was revealed NPD I read this while at work and panic, it hit me as if I was married to a serial killer, I was scared to death, then after I processed this. I went to the bible and I begain to research this behavior. The scripture describes him (satan) with these behaviors and how he got kicked out of heaven, so I went into the book of mathew and mark and read. I refuse to allow this spirit to control my husband or family through this curse. Both his parents has this personality. At first I thought it was learned behavior then I said, it must be more to this. I would watch the moon and at certain times of the month his personality was worse. As I read your research and theory I truly believe that your in the right area. No one would take the time to tape into the spirit of this fallen behavior. I heard every phrase from vampire, to this, to that. I will not accept no cure, nor will I lable him. I know this is a spiritual warfare fight, your gift from God gave you insight and wisdom. God is also working with me on this. Seek and you shall find. Proverbs 1 I will meditate on. Dont give up.

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    1. Thanks anon - I will be discussing the subject of how NPD has been demonized in part 2.

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    2. Congratulations Kim for speaking the truth. It is time and time has come for the truth to be revealed. Time for the veil to be lifted and for us to remember who we truly are. You are an angel doing glorious work in many areas in bringing forth to the masses. Some will awaken and others will choose not to. The people of the world are expressing through their daily lives and the weather just how confused and in pain many are. It is time to join together and go back to the basics remembering to love and care for eachother.

      You certainly are gifted in expressing what truly is life about, love. Love is all that there is. Thank you for sharing and caring.

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  25. There's a lot here. I couldn't wrap my head around it all. Some of it reminded me of Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil where he talks about the elite and the christian attempt to take power from them by glorifying sacrifice, ie, hijacking the moral code. Other parts resonate with some of my recent reading that argues that true morality needs to come from beyond us (humans) to have any validity...(Read Clive Hamilton - The Freedom Paradox,)from the place many call god (Hamilton talks of the Noumenon). It seems to fit that a person deciding what is or is not moral behavior is acting as a kind of god...something that is not really legitimate since their ideas are subject to human constraints (subject object). Maybe modern societies idea that we have the ability and the right to assert what is right for us has turned us into a lot of little narcissists, a whole society trying to play god.

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  26. Kim, this was very interesting... Especially the part where you spoke of the Ten Commandments... Yes, they are essential to our harmony of humanity for that is WHY God gave them to us... Something God wrote with His finger we as humans must not question nor abolish... And Christ did not abolish them either! 1 Jn. 2:3,"And hereby we do know that we know Him, IF we keep His commandments".
    But be aware that the destruction you talk about also has been afflicted on these Commandments... They are Holy and not to be tampered with... Therefore, ALL are to be honored not just 9... The 4th Commandment is evidence of that for God said, "REMEMBER"... He knew humans would forget to keep the Sabbath Holy...
    So as you take mention of these in your writings please be aware of the importance you speak pertaining to these Commandments. The Ultimate Narcisstic one desires to destroy them... For as 1 Jn. 2:3 says, we know Him IF we keep His Commandments !!!! If we don't then we don't know Him... Well, who above all doesn't want us to know Him??? It is the Ultimate Narcisstic one that I believe started this all... And has everything thing to do with gods and sacrificing children.
    Satans unholy spirit led to his fall...Isa.14:13-14."Thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I WILL BE LIKE the most High". Ezaek.28:17 "Thine heart was lifted up BECAUSE of thy BEAUTY, thou hast corrupted they wisdom by reason of brightness".
    The beginning Kim was with satans fall, his beauty that he beheld upon himself was when all of this started... Satan the Ultimate Narcisstic one and all those that follow him...For he couldn't handle his own beauty... To the point he believed he could actually be like the most High...
    Those people are who you talk about every day, who you teach about, the Narcisstic behaviour... Well it all started with the beautiful angel that was taken with his own beauty...The ORIGINAL Narcisstic one...
    So please, as you incorporate the 10 Commandments into your teaching, realize they are holy and that the ORIGINAL Narcisstic one is already at work to destroy their meaning. Satan doesn't want us to keep them for he doesn't want us to know God. If we break one we break them all the Bible says... That is why God put that one little word in there that means EVERYTHING, "REMEMBER,"
    Oh how the ORIGINAL Narcisstic one wants us to FORGET...
    You talk of history, the Holocaust is history Kim...
    Im delighted to even see you lift up the 10 Commandments in your sharing but be very careful that you don't walk right into the Ultimate Narcisstic trap yourself... and square off with that Ultimate Narcisstic one with knowing yourself just what God meant when He wrote with His own finger "REMEMBER"... For God knew ahead of time way back in history just what satan was gonna use against Him so people wouldn't know Him... BECAUSE WE KNOW HIM IF WE KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS....ALL of them not just 9...
    I'm very interested in where you are going with this all... But honestly believe you are correct in including those HOLY Commandments as part of the history God painted for us...

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    1. Hi anon -

      Thanks for you comments - I can guess you are a Seventh Day Adventist and welcome! I have a lot of respect for the SDA's high moral code and principled life style. Not drinking smoking or gambling and especially giving a lot of time and attention to their kids. I was a little disappointed when I last visited a camp meeting to see the different age groups so divided into different peer groups however. It seems some of the aging members might be a little scared of growing old! I know that happens in most churches now so it is not just a criticism of the Adventists. Old people trying to show kids they are cool can I think sometimes give them the wrong message! It is okay to grow up - and it is okay to be old! Isn't that respecting our parents?

      Anyway that is just a small bug bear with me (-: If you look into Anthony Larson's blog you will discover why your faith worships the Sabbath from SUNDOWN on Friday evening to SUNDOWN on Saturday night. I found that information fascinating.

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  27. Very enlightening discussion. Thank you Kim for exploring and Sean for straightening things out. There are certainly many ways, perspectives and systems to explain how we got here, whether scientific, religious, symbolic, historic etc. Most of these end up being validated, partly or fully. But no matter how we got there, here we are. There is certainly a propensity in our nature to make us narcissist or dependant or both. It resonates in us from past and present. We are lucky to be made aware of this. Kim is instrumental in giving both sides a chance. We have to reeducate ourselves and each deal with our own situation. It is sometimes exhausting for us but encouraging to receive the support and hope of Kim and Steve.
    I feel for the military husband. I feel like 'a soldier shouted at' when my husband shouts so loud and long that I cannot think but only follow orders. Shouting and demeaning affects the whole body of the receiver, physically, emotionally and mentally. The structure of water itself changes whether it is talked meanly at or said nice things to. Because we are made mostly of water, this affects us directly. See the scientific evidence of Masuro Emoto in 'The Hidden Messages in Water' (detailed in his other books). It will blow your mind with its implications as it shows, in pictures, how we are personnally changing our surroundings. Lets change it for the better. Thank you for all the food for thoughts.

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    1. I find the work of Masuro Emoto facinating - thanks so much for your comments.

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  28. Kim, I am the anon from Feb 13,

    Thanks for responding, I appreciate it and I appreciate your apologies if I don't feel heard thank you. To be honest I think overall my point has been missed, or perhaps I wasn't clear enough. Comments like these:
    "If you are not here to learn the techniques and skills we offer this site may not be right for you".
    and this:
    "but I would make a suggestion to you - that in general opening a dialogue with someone by questioning their character hardly ever leads to anything productive in my experience".

    Are exactly what I have a problem with. I didn't open a dialogue questioning your character. I opened the dialogue by saying something positive and then went on to honesty state that I believe it would be reasonable to expect that you would get differing views and it would be nice for you to be open to that and in general I feel different views don't get a fair hearing.

    Not sure that's questioning your character, I certainly didn't mean to, I'm not saying that's who you are, I'm saying that's how it comes across on this site sometimes. Additionally, nothing in my comment said that I'm not here to learn. I'm very much here to learn. I don't think agreeing with someone if you don't, or saying something works for you if it doesn't, is learning. I think asking more questions, wanting to be heard, trying to understand better, being honest about what you don't agree with IS learning.

    I know we are lone voices so probably quite easy to dismiss but we (Sean, and I, if Sean you don't mind me speaking on your behalf) are saying that it would be good to be open to different points of view, and that both you and we can learn from each other, particularly on controversial topics like this. Perhaps if I say it like that it won't come across as character questioning or me not wanting to learn. Is that fair?

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    1. Hi anon,

      Beyond apologizing that you don't feel heard what can I do? Because you have never seemed to ask any questions or provided an opinion except of me personally - it is very hard for me to believe you are here to learn.

      The only other thing I remember you asking in the past was that I open this blog up as a kind of forum for people to discuss methods of dealing with abuse that are different than what we teach. At that time I told you, fairly straight, that I did not feel that would be beneficial as the techniques and skills we teach are challenging enough without adding to the confusion - and that there are already many places online where people can do that.

      I was referring back to this request of yours (on a previous post) when I suggested that maybe this is not the right place for you.

      The other point you have made (quite a number of times now over the past few months) is that you believe I tell people who are having trouble that they are not trying hard enough and it is their fault. I will tell you again that I am sorry you feel this way but I don't think this accusation is really fair. I often mention that this is not an easy journey and that not everyone can expect the same results. Most people writing in here saying they are having trouble are doing so because they want my ideas of what more they might try - and they are wondering if they have got our techniques right - and so yes I offer that advice. Very rarely someone will comment who wants to be aggressive and rude and put us and our ideas down and because we try and model how to deal with this type of abuse - yes I approve those posts and stand up for myself in those situations and either tell them what I think as respectfully as I can or bring the conversation to a close.

      I ask you anon - is this really the appropriate place for you to continue complaining about me? My father always taught me that if you had a complaint you felt you must share with someone about them personally that first you should really make sure you need to bring it up and second that you, at very least, do so in private.

      I am guilty of not always heeding his advice - but I try to remember it. As I do not have a private email address to contact you however and you have chosen my public forum as the place for this discussion, I feel that you leave me little choice.

      Many people don't like the way we do things here or how we put our message across - but most have the courtesy to contact us about that in private and I ask that you might consider this.

      Sean and I have had no trouble discussing our differences of opinion and he did not ask for you to be his champion. If YOU have a different opinion on the subject of this article please express it and leave me free to express mine as I see fit - and lets see if a discussion can't begin?

      If not and you only want to continue finding fault with what I have said - I am afraid I am going to need to end this discussion, as I feel it is fast becoming unproductive and I hope that in doing so I can at least set an example.

      I have the right to decide if I want to approve your posts here and give my time to writing to you and you have been making these same complaints about me now for maybe a year?

      If you really don't like me, well, so be it - but what more is there to say? You say you have learned a lot from me - but always only to pretend to be balanced in your opinion when really you only criticize. Have you really learned anything here? If so I would love to hear what that was and what problems you are having or what other ideas you have to offer.

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    2. Your article is very interesting. In Genesis, it states that God created light 4 days before he created the sun and stars. This fits in line with the statement in the article about light and dark before the sun was created. You can go to http://www.awmi.net/tv/this_week, go to the Feb. 15 show and Andrew Womack talks about it at about the 17:00 mark in the clip. His series is about "Power in your Words." Death and life are in the power of words. I am only beginning to learn this and am being careful about every word that I speak. I thought about you and Steve and how you had to restrain yourself from speaking what you felt in order to heal your relationship. This took an enormous amount of inner strength and strength from God. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me. My relationship with my husband of 34 years is changing in a very positive way...finally! You and your family are in my prayers.

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    3. Ron Paul 2012 talks about this very same issue: Read "Liberty Defined, 50 Essential Issues . . ." page 171/chapter "Noble Lie"

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    4. Kim, I hope you don't mind me saying, but I think you may be reading into some of the points made by one of the many "Anonymous" comments, seeing character attacks where none were intended and this much has been repeated to you. It can be so very difficult to see clearly when we encounter unfamiliar perspectives which appear to attack our character, as opposed to our ideas. I've been guilty of such things myself, and embarrassed once I figured out I was totally mis-reading someone, so you at least have my sympathy, if not my empathy (I do hope I understand this right).

      I was back here to share: http://news.yahoo.com/science-overturns-view-humans-naturally-nasty-230503650.html

      I understand you have your differing perspective, so this isn't intended to tell you that your ideas are in any way wrong, but rather to add to the differing perspective I have given in our above dialog.

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    5. Thanks for the link Sean, I found it interesting and nice to see science having some positive things to say about human nature.

      I hope you can see my response to anon as part of a larger conversation that has gone on between us (on other posts) for sometime now. And yes you are right I may have over reacted - but I hope you can both can take something positive away from my comment that if you want to criticize someone's style or delivery (rather than the content of what they are saying) it is usually better to do that in private.

      Hey I wonder if you searched for 'plasma man in rock art' as I suggested? I think you would probably find that study very interesting.

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  29. Is it possible to make a narcissist, who never in his whole life until his forties had a relationship more than three months, and his favorite phrase to end a relationship is "I am not in love with you", is it possible to make him remain in love with you, after he realizes that you also want him?

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  30. Wow. I left a narcissus many years ago after years of emotional abuse and reaching the point of asking God daily to let me be content or let me die. God provided a way to leave the relationship and I have been in a peaceful (not always perfect) but normal marriage. The damage done to the only child from the N is a enormous. Now 24, he has been hurt so deeply. He is with an wonderful girl but has little to do with us. He has nothing to do with his biological father. (Rightly so) he asked me why I made him have a relationship with N father. I wanted to do right and not keep him from him. A part of me thinks he is just trying to find his way and has separated from us to establish his independence and grow up. I miss him and I feel not coming over, calling or even encouraging his girlfriend not to come over is unhealthy. It's tough. I am loving reading your work.

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  31. Kim,

    The last part of your post reminded me of something I read at Christmastime. This is #2 from Christina Fox's "Five Things to Teach Your Children This Christmas." Here's the whole article if you're interested. http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/five-things-to-teach-your-children-this-christmas

    "For the world, the holiday season is about extravagance, opulence, and making every detail picture-perfect. The story of Jesus, however, is one of humility. Christmastime provides a great opportunity to teach our children about what it means to be greatest in the kingdom (Matthew 20:26–28). His parents, his place of birth, his hometown, and his very act of taking on human flesh were all demonstrations of humility. Most people expected the Messiah to arrive in a castle, not a stable. Most expected him to live a life of royalty, not poverty. Most expected him to conquer the Romans, not be crucified by them. Read through Philippians 2:1–11 and show your children the humility of Christ."

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