Moving on from the likes of Sam, who has done so much to confuse and scare people on the subject of narcissism and NPD, today I want to write a bit about Lisa Charlebois, who is one of the authors of the book "You might be a Narcissist if." Not only did Lisa contact us when she was in the process of writing her book, but she has also been a fan and follower of our work for sometime and even helped us out with a generous donation towards our advertising when I said I would be happy to give her book a plug.
So with all those past connections right out in the open I would like to start off today by sharing some great stuff that Lisa said when Steve and I had about an hour-long conversation with her on Skype last week ...
There was a couple of ideas of hers which really blew me away that I want to share ...
The first is that families do long term damage to themselves by "hiding their shame".
Isn't that profound? I think that is the most simple and easy to understand explaination that I have every heard about what causes both narcissism and also codependence in individuals from their family of origin and how that learned behavior means the damage is then passed on.
The next thing she said was just as good and I believe a literal peice of gold and this was what her husband said to her helped her face her own narcissism ...
What he said was that apologising was a mature thing to do and that it would help him respect her better.
I believe that is just so to the point of the issue here that it nearly took my breath away.
So the other thing I love about Lisa's work is that she is a mental health professional but herself and her co authors have all worked through their own narcissism - and to me this is just such an incredible breath of fresh air.
So from my last post where we talked about Sam pretending to be an expert and doctor when he is not, we now come full circle to doctors and psychologists that not only believe there is hope for people with NPD, but who have even looked at it in themselves!!!
I guess I shouldn't sound so surprised about that, but having come from a medical family I have heard some good jokes about doctors, like the one that goes ... "What is the difference between a Doctor and God?" ... "God knows he is not a Doctor" ... or the doctor who came back from a hunting trip and the matron said "How was your trip?" and the doctor said "Terrible, I didn't kill anything." and the matron said "You would have been better off staying here!"
Anyway all jokes aside, I really do love this team of professionals. They run a big network of clinics called the Meier clinics who see people on a sliding scale of fees depending on your income and are Christian based.
You can find out more about them here;
and if you are interested you can visit Lisa's website and buy their book here;
Now for a special treat ... if you have any quick questions for Lisa she will be following this blog for the next few weeks and so just shoot with your questions in the comments section below and she will try and get some answers back to you when she pops in.
Steve and I will also be doing a radio interview with Lisa next week - so if you haven't already please visit our main site at;
and subscribe to our mailing list (which is free) so you are sure to get the announcement of when that show is up.
Being able to admit it to ourselves and others when we feel embarrassed or ashamed is just such a healthy and healing thing to do. Seee if you can start practicing it today!
Hang in there,