Narcissism - Myths

Merry Christmas Everyone!

For more information on the Myths of Narcissism please visit our free site here;

Narcissism - Myths

As you know Christmas can be one of the hardest times of the year for families so I would love it if you could help us by sending an email here;

with "Hi Kim" in the subject line

You will then automatically recieve a beautiful email you can read and forward on to your friends with tips on how to not let family arguments spoil the holiday season.

All the info is free and you may save a family or even a life.

Hang in there!

Kim Cooper


  1. I cant do this anymore, he is loving and charming one day. And rude and verbally abusive the next.... He has ruined my christmas!!!!

  2. Thanks you guys. Like always when things get really rough for myself and family I go seeking for "the cure". Even though I know it's an inside job I try to be an example of solution and not problem. I so enjoyed this message and right on time. I will encounter that relationship that is quite a challenge this week I am sure because of it's nature and I will be armed with love and appreciation instead of contempt or fear of another piece of unsolicited advice that always brings me down. I walk my talk as much as I can and go the extra mile on the high road however, as I mature my ability to just take it in stride has taken a wrong turn. I guess I have just been a door mat for so long I feel when attacked I need to really let others know it is not ok to treat me as if I am a practice person for their ability to fill up their " I am better than you are " tanks. I wanted to wish you also a Merry Christmas and Thank You for remembering us at this time especially because of the current state of the Nation and World. God, can we find PEACE ON EARTH this year? Again, I will do my part to great a safe haven for my family in the MEAN time! Jan

  3. Celiac can cause bipolar/Narcissism....not eating gluten/dairy, taking LDN which blocks celiac but not 100%, Vitamins/good oils and EDTA/DMPS IV chelations if they are full of heavy metals, Vit D3, Vit B12 shot and HCl/enzymes with meals, dairy free acidophilus...may help the person heal. is a stool sample test and cheek genetic test to diagnose celiac...blood tests and biopsies don't work half of the time to diagnose Celiac. Doctors are not trained in that is why people are not told about it. Celiac is due to low sunlight heritage or people who eat dairy/gluten and didn't in past heritage. With this kind of help depression/obessing/mental/emotional/physical health issues maybe helped. The Narcisstic personality may get better. Alcoholics crave gluten in the alcohol. I truly think Narcissism is a brain Attention deficient...and healing the brain with celiac help may help them be ok. Codependency is also a celiac thing...but just different in how the person's brain is working and life taught them. I do agree that showing respect to them and reparenting them is needed. Happiness...

  4. Kim,
    You have a lot of information for the spouse of a Narcisist. What about direct help/instructions other than the work book for the actual Narcisist? I would like more on helping me, the actual Narcisist.
    Thanks, David

  5. Hi Everyone and Merry Christmas (-:

    to can't do this. If you can't certainly don't just decide what you can and will do and get some support. In the mean time try and find some space for yourself and decide to be happy doing something on your own or with your kids. It might feel hard to feel happy but feelings change and if you concentrate on something you like and enjoy your feelings will shift in that direction.

    Jan ... Certainly don't be a doormat but do choose battles worth fighting and plan to win them with back up and support, such as keeping your finances separate etc. other than this have comeback lines ready that show zero tolerance for abuse but that also do not engage in argument. Then make sure you get on with what you are doing and don't let him start a fight. And yes may peace please come at last!!!

    to anon celiac, I agree wholeheartedly! I try not to eat wheat and keep our diets as clean as I can and this had made a big difference in our whole families moods. I encourage what you have to say on this topic ...

    and David ... Please visit Steve's site at

    Where I think you might find some help.

    Thanks to everyone for commenting and have a great Christmas break ....

  6. I met my now ex-husband when we were 12. We dated for seven years before getting married, which lasted for 20 years.I always attributed his mood swings to just that mood swings. By all other accounts I, along with my family and friends thought we had a very good marriage, much to my suprise he was living a double life. Over the course of our marriage he had outside relationships that resulted in 2 children by different women. We divorced, but have never really separated. I love him, but his narcisstic ways are driving me and our children crazy. I have sought professional help, but I was not at that time strong enough to move on. My ex is kind and generous one day and rude and insensitive the next, holidays and special occassions are the worst. I'm finding it difficult to let go and move on because I continue to hang on to the belief he will change. I am so ashamed for allowing myself to continue to love this person. Where can I go for help?

    1. dont feel ashamed, i am in the same situation, take comfort in knowing your not alone. get therapy, it has helped me so much, read and get to know more about NPD and how to deal with these people. we need to get strong and keep strong to b able to deal with these people. The pain these people cause us is so debilitating. its like riding a rollacoaster that u just cant get off. Your not alone, i recomend u also read a book called you can heal your life by louise hay. One day we will b able to stop the rolla coaster and step off.... roll on that day

  7. Kim and Steve, I had a Merry Christmas and am really looking foward to a wonderful New Year, thanks to the amazing insights into this situation you and only you offered three years ago. It has taken me a while to adjust my perception, but it is so clear now and so easy to deal with, and I know what is going on.
    A co-dependant loves the situation, even if it is miserable, a individuated person says, there must be something in this that I wanted, takes responsibility for it, and sees the beauty, yes the beauty of the narcissistic personality. Still working on helping my kids understand that they have both of us in them, life is a two way street, but if you see a bulldozer, stay out of the way! Your advice and presence has truly been a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you

  8. I knew something was not right with him,but I fell for him anyway. I have been unhappily married for 25 years not knowing what I wanted. I thought he was it,not guy I married but the other guy I met,"The narcissist" the one I thought was it. But not knowing what I wanted put me in a fix. I know now that it takes two to be happy and I have to be happy with myself. Not knowing how to live on my own is scary but I am also dieing inside by the marriage I am in .Finding you guys brought me to life and I think I know what I have to do. It has encouraged me more to do more for myself than you can imagine. I am still in love with the narcissist, but I know though your help I can help him and not fall flat on my face, because this is about me being strong,and finding someone I can be happy with.

  9. Hello Kim and Steve! Yes it is me Latonia one of your very first(well I would like to believe first) readers. You know all to well how you have changed me life. I went from tears and despair to happy and full of hope. To all believers and doubters the key is strenght! You have to stay strong if you want it to work out, and do follow Kim and Steve's program. It has done wonders for me and has opened more doors for self discovery. narcissist do not operate in a vacum, we do help them with their behavior. We need to find out what we are doing as well. I have learned that I needed to live without fear and take the road that I didn't take before.
    Peace to you Kim and Steve in the New Year

  10. Hi Everyone,
    It's been 6 long months now since I found your fabulous site, and I cannot tell you how much your information has helped me. I followed your advice and changed my behaviour towards my narcisisstic boyfriend, and although we still have problems, the changes in our relationship have been dramatic. Instead of the contstant dramas and fighting, he is learning to trust that I love him, and has recently started to open up about his feelings for me. I can't thank you enought. Keep sending the information. Love Linda

  11. Hi to everyone and to anon who met their partner when they were 12. You have come to the right spot to find help. Please visist our main site at and subscribe. I cannot promise he will get better like Steve did but we can help you learn to deal with him much more successfully than you probably have in the past.

    And to Rene, Latonia and Linda, thankyou so much for sharing the success you have had (-: To Steve and I that is simply the best!

    Kim Cooper

  12. Hi,
    My husband has many of the traits but not all. He definitely is desperate for the 'affection' of a perfect partner. We met overseas and it was quite idyllic and he came to live in my country. He was always what I thought was just jealous from the start but looking back it wasn't just that. I have been accused so many times of fancying or paying attention to other men etc (rubbish!) And the fights and were bad lasting days (not physical) I think I am the 'perfect' woman he still wants but he wants it like it was ... me and him but no-one else. I am almost positive he doesn't have another life because he was never out of arms reach. Always there so that bit doesn't tally but the accusations at home with no-one around are very familiar. We are actually living apart now as he left but then wanted to keep dating and I'd stay at his place etc and it was probably 'wonderful' for him ... none of my family around but he was always trying to create this perfect night out or weekend. I got sick of it because it's not reality was horrible going back to my house and we still fought because he had too much time on his own to think about what I was doing so a few of the accusations were worse than before. But he can't see my side. But like they seem to, he says he 'will never love anyone like me' and never has et!!! At age 40 when we met he got 2 tattoos referring to me but never had any before or since. I want to get back with him but it wouldn't be very good family wise as he finds fault with them - even though my youngest is 17 now ...and not living with me anyway. ( He quite likes her and loves her to death at times) AND he is very charming and a very powerful person in terms of getting people to do what he wants work wise etc I'm not a doormat that's why we have such big fights but I do watch what I say often so I don't set him off!! Anyway what is he? I don't know.

  13. I have lived with a narcissitic person for the past eight years. All in all, I have perservered and he actually changed. Not all the way, but he wanted to compromise, so now it works a lot better between us. I found out that if I keep him chasing, he is more worried about me than he thinks I am about him. This may not work with everyone, but it worked out here. Unfortunately, I also worked for a very narcissitic woman who was worse than he was, and the whole situation was worse because she was my boss. Ultimately, I was fired because of her lies and she was really good at it. Anyway, at least the home life is really good now. Thanks for your site. Reading and seeing what I needed to do really helped. S.


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